The Principle of Dignity.
Where would I be today without incorporating this law in my life? I’d be cowering at the mercy of dysfunctional family, societal rules, and dogmatic religious affiliations that deem me to not “be enough”.
Those projections and judgments could overhaul my determination to be free of the blame, shame and guilt-beating dilemmas I thrusted upon my ego. Without self integrity and respect for my dignity, I’d be placating myself again with food and booze (1993). I’d be in codependent relationships. I really stand firm about not surrendering my autonomy to manipulators and controlling narcissists.
When I live by the principle of dignity, I don’t allow people to walk over me and use me as a doormat, to step up their own low self esteem. When I can respect myself, I teach others how to treat me. I value self honesty. Accountability and self responsibility is my motto as I am true to my self-integrity and I don’t stomp on my birthrights to love, joy, peace, safety and security, and well-being. Living with dignity means I won’t destroy my health. My body is my best friend and will carry me over my lifetime.
If I am enjoying a life of significance and meaning, then that life is worth living. So I take care of my body. I am on a track to honouring my health and well-being and I choose to live with dignity and self integrity. Also, I believe that we are all responsible for our experience in life and we all have unlimited potential to make this life our prime experience of joy.
The things that happen to us do not define us. Our consciousness is separate from our experiences and are mote entities. I choose self-love and to continue to be addiction free (comfort eating and self medicating).
Here is an example of when I disregarded my own self dignity. In my 20s I was in an abusive marriage that was very rocky before it ended. My ex came home and was being very belligerent. Instead of walking away and doing something to change my situation with him, I took the jug of grapefruit juice I was making and threw the contents at him. He moved, I missed and I ended up cleaning the mess off the floor and wall. He laughed at me and walked away.
I felt like a fool for going down to his level. I behaved no different because I was not owning my self integrity and respecting my dignity. That lesson was a wake up call to do something about me turning into him, I didn’t want to role model this to my kids. I didn’t want them to grow up living an incongruent life demeaning their own values and beliefs.
So that was that, I left. Almost too late, it was a violent situation that ended with a happy ending. I was true to my self respect, dignity, integrity, power of choice, self love – but mainly self responsibility and accountability to myself and my kids. It was unethical to let my kids live in this situation as well as I. So I left the loser and booze behind and got on with life. It was a step by step process of getting to where I am today.
Living congruent with who I am has been wonderful. I am kind to myself and not demanding though. I am human but I am at peace, calm and relaxed. Day by day in every way, I am getting better and better. Its an unfolding of a life of significance and brings me joy and wonder in a net positive manner. Life is sweet.