Fate is what happens when we fail to follow our hearts. Destiny is what happens when we refuse to accept our failures as our fate. We always have a choice. We can either let our failures define us or we decide use the lessons to refine us. We get to choose,
The refining fire of failure begins with the lesson. You cannot fail if you keep learning, extracting insights and using it to alter your approach and then begin again. Extract the lesson, begin again. Extract another lesson and begin again. Begin again. Begin again. And again. Again. Again.
Every single insight, lesson or distinction no matter how small is a small step forward. Keep making a small moving forward. Keep learning, evolving and growing. As long as we keep our eyes front driving down the road of life we can always change course.
The danger of looking in the mirror of regret, blame and shame — is it takes our eyes off the road. We become wrapped up in the past. We begin to chase regrets, painful memories and we fall prey to overthinking. Before we know it, our dreams are left on the alter of past regret. Our brain begins to betray us. The brain is so well trained. It is used to following the well worn pathway of least resistance. Our stinking thinking seems to confirm our worst fears. That there is something wrong with us.
We panic. In those moments we either consciously choose to face it head on or we bury it under our fears, denial or unconscious auto-pilot driven by the ego. The ego says “It’s okay. I’ll deal with it later.” Which only prolongs the battle for our attention.
When we are deep into avoidance we keep ourselves busy. Busy fixing others, reading books, wasting hours swiping through social media or binge watching Netflix. Isn’t it a curious thing that none of the shows we binge watch are of people living full, healthy and vibrant lives? They are full of dysfunctional, frail characters who just cannot seem to get things right. No matter how much they try they keep falling short.
They keep trying to overcome and fail again. We love then for it because we identify with their struggle. The uncomfortable truth is, it is easier to watch someone else struggle than face our own painful truth. Yet unless we face reality — the way things are we have no choice than to keep running on the treadmill of denial.
It does not have to be this way. We can choose our truth. To face the brutal reality that there is something we have been avoiding dealing with or facing.
Remember, “Fate is what happens when we fail to follow our hearts. Destiny is what happens when we refuse to accept our failures as our fate.”
We change fate into destiny when we choose in this moment to make a conscious choice forward — to look reality in the eye — this is our defining moment, our point of power. It is right here, right now. You can do it.
P.S. In any given moment we have an opportunity to consciously choose where to place our attention (our life focus) or we zone out, avoid or procrastinate. Conscious choice is our super power as it directs our energy, our life power.