Empty Nest Syndrome for me happened at a distance when I left a toxic marriage. I was depressed from years of abuse, so the kids were to stay with my ex-husband until I was well enough to take part in shared-joint parenting. There were many mind games played on me through the 3 year court process and he manipulated my access to the children when I no longer could afford a lawyer. Out of desperation to leave the anguish behind from the legalization of abuse, I left the city that my kids lived in. It was necessary for peace of mind from PTSD. However this made visitation difficult. Eventually the kids stopped seeing me. They grew up and they left their Dads home. I was affected even more because I felt they divorced me too as their mother. I never got out of my depression for a decade.
I think for me, empty nesting was abruptly enforced on me when I had to flee from the house. When I refer to legalization of abuse, I am referring to how an abusive spouse can manipulate and use lawyers and court to destroy a persons sense of worth and stress from maneuvers to take away kids. I was not a bad mom that I couldn’t share custody of the kids, I just couldn’t afford a lawyer and he took the opportunity to do illegal stuff while I was defenceless.
So my experience as an empty nester came at a tumultuous time during divorce. I lost my family based business and therefore access to the kids. Many losses meant no access to the kids. The loss of finances to see the kids and travel to see them was detrimental to keeping up with the limited visitation that occurred after divorce. He knew I wouldn’t go back to court to uphold rights written in a shoddy divorce judgement that ensued with no legal counsel. I lost my career in science, my family based business, my health, bankruptcy, my house and gardens, my retirement funds, and I got $20,000 in total. We were worth a million dollars in equity but I gave up just to have peace from the court system, with lack of support from non-existent friends and family who took his side.
The empty nesting was horrible. But after a decade I learned how to deal with it and I am having a wonderful life now. I wish I knew back then, what I know now. Plus I wish support systems were in place to help me stay strong, have clarity to make decisions, or just deal with the losses that I had no control over.
When Greg and I decided to start the Life Origami Corporation, it was our wish to help others through loss and to help them to step into their second act in life with dignity and self integrity. We just want to help others recover from the rough ride and help them return to healthy well being.
Part of our wish for empty nesters and divorcees is to help them become entrepreneurs. Life and Business are inter-connected so then, we offer training enhanced coaching for people recovering from loss and who are ready to step into their second act in life. Despite our circumstances, our past need not define us in the present day. You can learn how you learn, discover who you are today and all your opportunities to live the life you never thought possible, especially after loss.
If you would like to know about our second act program, feel free to ask more questions at any time. I would love to talk to you about our recoveries, and how you can resolve your own empty nester dilemma. PM us on Facebook, Our Life Origami page on Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn or our websites www.lifeorigami.com and www.ameedickson.com.